You say you want to change, you want to let go and find peace because your life its a "nightmare". Well, what if that nightmare is all you have known? How do you let go of it knowing that the very idea of it might mean loosing yourself.
If I loose myself, then who am I?
What do I have if I don't have that anymore?
What will I do if I am not doing that or being that anymore?
You would be what you have been and always will be - a divine spiritual being - but you have been so busy living the nightmare and thinking that you are the nightmare that you failed to notice. The truth is, the concept you have come to know as your life; is as "real" as that nightmare is, it’s all in your mind - You created it, therefore you can change it. You created it with the thoughts/beliefs that you think of and have been thinking of on a day to day basis for as long as you can remember. Thing is, one of those beliefs instilled in you, is the belief to not question or doubt all the other beliefs that have created the life you live today. I mean, why would you question such believes that seem so normal, especially since everyone you know seems to believe them too. Ever wonder if everything you have believed/thought was false?
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -- Buddha
There is a problem though; you see, your own reason and common sense was built on the very same, potentially false, beliefs that have created your life. So, in that questioning of everything the Buddha speaks of, add to it your own reason and common sense. You might find yourself asking, well then what will have or who/what will I be - nothing? Precisely, now all you are left with is the real you, the essence of what you are - a divine spiritual being. For when you strip yourself of all thoughts, beliefs, concepts, ideas, things, etc, you also strip away the power and control those very same things have over you. You have freed your mind and now you can begin to see life and yourself for what it is. The true nature of all things, which you happen to be a part of and have never been separate from. What you have done, is you have let go of the nightmare, now you can begin to live the dream - except it will be a reality. Your reality, Your Life!