• What gets in the way?

    28 May 2016 | Blog
  • I want to ask you a question, do you really know is what is important to you? It is important to explore and know where you are in life today for two reasons, 1) so that you can be intentional about your life and 2) so that you can understand yourself better and remove some of the challenges you are facing today preventing you from living the life you want.  A life of meaning, purpose, significance and a life where you are able to contribute - to do something beyond yourself.

    There's two main focuses in life, one is achievement, you know, the things you go after that most consider success, typically by effort, courage, or skill.  We tend to think of this in terms of professional or career goals, and typically. it matters more to society (how others see you) and it's very results oriented and driven. A lot of us have mastered this one.  The other one is fulfillment, this one deals with personal life goals which are important to you as an individual.  The thing about Personal fulfillment is that it’s an ongoing journey, because there's no real destination, unlike achievement, in which you get degrees, certificates, titles, promotion, raises, etc, most people let fulfillment fall by the way side.  Don't get me wrong, you get a certain level of fulfillment from achievement, but, somehow it's just not enough; doesn't seem to equate to happiness, because it seems like we always want more. we're always after the next thing and then the next, etc. The fact is, most of us spend most of our live's developing their skillset (achieving) but not our mindset (state of mind).  What we fail to realize is that mindset should always come first. Why? because this is what determines all of our outcomes.  You see, it is our mental attitude that determines how fast we achieve our goals or how well you acquire a skill or knowledge. It also provides the framework for how we're going to solve our problems.  You know what they say, it's not what happens to you that counts, it's how you react to what happens to you. It is your mental attitude. So what is attitude? It's the established way(s) of responding to your environment, people and situations.  It's based on what we have learned, based on the beliefs, values and assumptions we hold. Attitude becomes manifested through our behavior.

    So, I’ve had an interesting time trying to answer the following question, and as you know, it is the question that drives us and it is the question that brings us to where we are.  And it is this question that drives my work and has brought me here sharing with you.  What is something that most us want in Life but may or may not know how to get?  Right now you are probably thinking of your answer or answers, but in terms of my work, the answer is Happiness.  Let me share with you a quote and you may have heard it: 

    “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

    Happiness … And you could say there are other answers, because not everyone wants the same thing - and you’d be right.  There’s Love, Fortune, Family, Knowledge, peace, etc…where does all of that lead to? HAPPINESS. Everyone wants to be happy, but where or how do we find it?  Happiness is not something we find in life, it’s something that we bring to life.  In search of happiness, because we think it's somewhere out there, we begin achieving.  So in going after those achievements, what are people really going after?  What are they trying to fulfill?  They’re after the feeling of Satisfaction which will ultimately leads to what? HAPPINESS.

    After a lot of personal work and research, my initial question, led me to more questions: what are the limiting factors slowing us down or preventing our growth process? and What can be a catalyst to help us along the way? As I began to search for the answers to those questions, I found that the limiting factors are our limiting beliefs (thoughts).  My research led me to the teachings of Jiddu Krishnamurti.  A brief background on Krishnamurti.  He is regarded globally as one of the greatest thinkers and religious teachers of all time. He did not present or explain any one particular philosophy or religion, but rather talked of the things that concern all of us in our everyday lives - the problems of living in modern society, such as violence and corruption,  the individual's search for security and happiness, and the need for mankind to free itself from inner burdens - fear, anger, hurt, and sorrow. But what really caught my attention is that he explained with great precision the subtle workings of the human mind, and pointed to the need for bringing to our daily life a deeply meditative and spiritual quality.  In one of his talks, he said that everything, at its root, is a thought.  Which coincides with of one of Gandhi’s quotes: (ill share my variation of it)

    Your thoughts become your words, 

    Your words become your actions, 

    Your actions become your habits, 

    Your habits become your beliefs,

    and your beliefs create your life.

    When you follow it back to the beginning, it all starts with a thought.  Wayne Dyer, RIP, defined Beliefs as a set of thoughts that one has agreed to be true and thus you live your life according to them. The question is, how many of your beliefs are actually yours?

    In the following areas or aspects, identify the beliefs that you have or hold in each:

    • Relationships (with self, others, family, friends, children, spouse, etc)
    • Business (career, jobs, entrepreneurship, money, etc)
    • Emotional (your emotional state, emotions, reactions, stress, anxiety, depression, etc)
    • Intellectual (anything the engages your mind, like school, reading, workshops, anything creative, etc)
    • Physical (fitness, your health, nutrition, image, etc)
    • Spirituality (religion, practices, philosophy, rituals, etc)
    • Environment (your home, community, society, earth, etc)

    Once you do, see if there's anything you find limiting or you don't like how it sounds or the results it has gotten you - remember, your beliefs create your life; whatever you believe, will be.  If there is something you don't like, change it.  Rewrite it just how you would want it to be; your ideal.

    With Love and Peace,