• Letting go of the person I use to be

    23 Jul 2011 | Blog
  • "When you are free from craving for sense pleasures and when you are aware of emptiness, you are free in a supreme way and that will not change. It's like a flame struck by a gust of wind; in a flash the flame has gone out."

    I've reached a place in my life where I have to think about the person I use to be and the person I am in order to discover the person I want to be. When I think of the person I use to be, I start to think about who I was in past lives and how those may carry over into this one. How it may affect me from truly being Me in this life. I just recently opened my Akashic Records. They are a universal filing system which record every occurring thought, word, and action: a collection of mystical knowledge stored in the etheric levels. The vibrational records of each individual soul and its journey are contained here, making it a profound spiritual resource for consciousness development and expanded spiritual awareness. The Records have been recognized as a reservoir of useful insight, guidance, wisdom and healing information from the past, present and future. The Records are governed by the Three Absolutes: Fear Not, Resist Not, and Judge Not. This makes for a very safe and loving and also encouraging environment.  

    This experience has brought so much peace and understanding to my life. It explains and helps you make sense of why you are the way you are and why you are in the circumstances you are in. If I have ever believed in the expression "Everything Happens for a Reason" is now more than ever. It has giving me a greater sense of purpose and reaffirmed me that the path I am on is the right one.  

    If you are a Facebook friend you have probably read all the self awakening quotes I am sharing. I hope they inspire you. Here in this blog, is where I really get deep into my thoughts and feelings.

    I've been going to meditation every week for the past month and a half and I've learned the concept of being present; in the moment, in every situation I find my self in. With every inhalation and exhalations comes a new moment. Is this idea of Just Be. Buddhist teach that if you find yourself in a situation that you can't change, then Just Be. What does that mean? I am now finding out how much work is behind this Just Be idea, and by work I mean inner work - looking in oneself for wisdom, guidance and strength. The idea is not to follow anybody but to understand oneself. In oneself lies the whole world, & if you know how to look & learn, then the door is there & the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either that key or the door to open, except yourself.  

    A friend of mine share this quote with me the other day: “Children are natural Zen masters; their world is brand new in each and every moment.” - John Bradshaw. This is something I shared in an earlier post and I believe it now more than then, because I am looking within and striving for understanding of this idea and as I see my daughter live her life in such manner, I get inspiration and strength from her as well. She is my rock.  

    I am reading a book by the same author of Awakening your Inner Buddha - Lama Surya Das - called Letting go of the Person I used to be. Is a book of lessons on change, loss and spiritual transformation based on Buddhist Teachings. This book, along with meditation, it is helping me to stay centered and balanced in my life today. Shortly after my friend shares that with me, I read in my book about The Toddler's Creed:
    If I want it, it's mine.
    If I give it to you and then change my mind, it's mine.
    If I can take it away from you by force, it's mine. 
    If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
    If I we are playing with something together, then all the pieces are mine.
    If it looks like just like the one I used to own or have at home, it's mine.

    The problem is that since we all get our sense of significance from the things we are attached to, "Mine" translates to "Me, Myself and I" as we grow up and develop into adults. The reality is that most of us are still "two-year-old toddlers" with this mindset. This self-centered attitude is the root of all the unhappiness we feel. The Buddha teaches that neither pleasure nor pain are ultimately very satisfying because both are feelings that come and go. Due to this toddler mindset, no matter how much we have or don't have, we keep seeking for more, we are never satisfied or fulfilled. We are never content. When you look within and choose to take a spiritual path toward wisdom and enlightenment, it implies that we are trying to be a little less toddler-like with the things we want and are attached to. Since many of us find this inner work hard to do or we just don't know how, we have been conditioned to believe that another person is going to "save me". That all we have to do is find Prince or Princess Charming, who will complete me and satisfy me in every way, then my life will make sense and everything will work out. Don't we all want to believe this myth. There some much emptiness to this illusion and that emptiness can only be filled by oneself.  

    Looking within means finding oneself and that is hard to do because it means letting go of the person we use to be. Letting go of the person we used to be means letting go of the attachments that "define" us. What makes it such a hard thing to do, to let go, is that we feel as if letting go of those attachments means we are letting go of ourselves rather than finding ourselves. A friend of mine share this with me: "It's hard...we want to feel significant in this life...accomplished and like we counted for something...so I feel like the world will fall apart without me (especially my family's) but the reality is that it won't. And truly realizing that is extremely humbling because then you ask yourself, "Well then, why am I here?". And the answer is, "To just be.". And when I embrace that, my world feels lighter and I'm able to be a better person, mom, daughter, friend...it's a cycle that feeds into itself." This is a person whom I know first hand understand the work involved to Just Be and, despite how hard it is, tries to put it into action every day of her life.  

    The path to enlightenment is the path of becoming more fully awake and conscious of ourselves.