2014...what can I say about 2014. Well, as I begin to look forward to 2015, I have look back at 2014 and all its lessons. I lost a job over MLK weekend in early January and I felt no stress, no fear and no anxiety over it, why? because up to that point my faith in the way life works and how everything that happens to you is always working for you never against you was strong and solid - unshakable - or so I thought. I then had the time to invest in some personal goals I had and help create good things for the dance community I was a part of. And just when things were smooth sailing, BOOM, I started to experience resistance. First off, an opportunity to employ myself presented itself, not only to just be an employee and get a consistent revenue stream, but to be a manager. The interesting thing about that position, is that it put me in situations I've spent a lot of time avoiding - the confrontational kind. My boss must of picked up on that because in my dealings with the employees and customers, he pushed me to set boundaries, assert myself, established rules and behavior dynamics, etc. All in all, it gave me a different side of confidence and leadership that I'd never experienced before. I must say that these are qualities were lacking in myself and some how life always finds a way of providing you with THE experience for you to get what you need. But, despite all that I was learning, personally, it also meant that my extra time for the things I was involved in was limited, very limited. It was almost as if something within me was telling me, "you did your part, you are done". But no, I didnt pay attention to that one, I kept pushing thru and pushing thru and the more I pushed the more resistance I experienced. So, I would shift my approach and nope, still resistance, almost as if something was pushing me out.
One day, at my job, a client came in - he seemed to be Hindu - and he began to ask me personal questions, do you meditate, what is your philosophy on life, etc. I then began to ask him questions, of the business nature; advice perhaps. What he told me change my perspective instantly. He asked me, What do you do in meditation?" To which I said nothing, I simply sit, accept and allow what is at that moment. Then he said, "then why are you fighting and resisting the situation you find yourself in". Ooof! Straight to the gut. I instantly let go and began to TRUST again - all is well and is happening just as it should be; for your highest good, HAVE FAITH ANGEL!
Shortly after that I made a choice to try and work things out with my wife, after a 3 year separation. Boy did I learn a lot about myself there, it didn't last long, about 3 weeks tops, but what I got out of it was priceless. I realized that by going back to where I use to be, I got to see where I was and got a better/clearer picture of where I wanted to be. It was then that the purpose of everything up to that point and what I had to do became clear. I must digress, over the course of those 3 years, a big part of me asked if dance was really something I wanted to keep pursuing, and every time I worked up the courage to take a break, something would pop up and I'd used it as an excuse to stay and keep going. But, that feeling, that question, never left me and so, at that moment, it was clear - its time to take that long awaited break. In a matter of a few months, life had brought me the experiences I needed (as it always does) to help me make that decision. I WAS SCARED AS Sh*!, in fact, I felt like throwing up most of that afternoon. Dance had been my life since I was 20 years old and I had become highly identified with that. So the very thought of dance not being in my life was scary, but not because of it not being in my life, but because I was about to find out who Angel was with out it. Not only was dance part of my identity, it was also the foundation that my marriage was built upon and even though, yes, we were separated for 3 years, we were still dance partners and since dance was our foundation, it was as if we really weren't separated at all, just kind of on short breaks. To say the least, the lines were blurred, there wasn't a clear distinction of this is my life and that is yours. So, the decision to quit dance not only threatened who I thought I was, but - and I typed this with tears in my eyes - it also threatened the way my relationship with my wife had been for over 10 years. And that was rough too, having to adjust to how I'm going to relate to her going forward, adjusting to this new perspective was a very uncomfortable process for me. As part of that process, the skills I had gain in my job of assertiveness, boundary setting and establishing behavior dynamics came in handy, although very roughly applied, but, applied nonetheless. But, as you all know, life goes on and as they say, as one door closes another one opens, TA DA! I saw my door and I walked right thru it. Its amazing how much your life can change with a single decision, a single choice.
For you to understand the significance of that door I must take you back a couple of years back. As most of you know, I became a certified professional life coach in 2012, but, I really didn't take it that serious, yes, my spiritual and personal development was very serious to me, but considering Life Coaching as a career, really hadn't. Until later on that year, by accident (yeah right) I stumbled upon a type of psychology that took into consideration your personality as well as your spiritual nature in order to achieve wholeness. I said to myself, that is the kind of healing I want provide to others. I then began to do research and see if there were any centers or institutions providing training for it. I found a few, but the one that called to me was in Massachusetts, and I made it a goal of mine to get trained in that type of psychology. Fast forward to 2014, right when I quit dance, I made the decision to apply to that school and sure enough I was accepted - there was my door. Thats when it became clearer than ever before, timing is everything and again - all is well and is happening just as it should be; for your highest good, HAVE FAITH ANGEL! One thing about me and how I make decisions is that I remain still until life shows me which way I need to go - I listen and become in tune with the rhythm Life/Universe/God has set out for me. In doing so, I truly experience very little, if any, stress at all. It's when I try to get in the way by planning, really trying to control, the circumstances, when they are already happening as they should, all I had to do was get in harmony with them. By no means does that mean that I still don't resist some circumstances that may be happening in my life, because I do, but, I move thru the uncomfortableness of them quicker and get to that letting go, accept and allow stage sooner.
In summary, we must learn to know when and what to let go, accept and allow in our life and when to stand up for ourselves and establish the dynamics that we will allow and accept and then ones that we won't. As my mother always says, if you have a cake, and this is your cake, the cake of your life, as you invite others to share your cake with, how are you going to distribute the pieces and to who? Are you going to cut the pieces your self and hand them out yourself? or are you just going to let anyone to just put their hands in your cake and grab as much as they want from it? ....hmm....As we think about 2015, think about the choices you are going to make that will change your life for the better. I don't mean new year's resolutions that only last for a few months and then you go right back to what you use to do, I mean choices that will create new habits in your life that will lead you to succeed in life. Remember, it all starts with how you think. When you change the way you think, the way you talk changes, which then changes the way you act, and as well all know, your actions become your habits, which in turn create your life.
HAPPY 2015 EVERYONE. MAY YOU ACCOMPLISH THE YOU OF YOUR DREAMS.